Husband

THIS PAGE WILL BE LOCKED AND NO OTHER POSTS ACCEPTED AT MIDNIGHT 3/25. Writing Assignment: Questions for "An Ideal Husband."

Why do you think the play is titled "An Ideal Husband?" How would you relate the actions in the play to, say, male/female interactions today? Do you have any personal experiences that you can relate to this play? Explain.

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In the play, “An Ideal Husband”, I felt like this is what Oscar Wilde life was like. He lived so many lives in his one life. He was an artist who did not have an ideal life. Ideal means ( principles or values that one actively pursues as goals). The story like this has been told for years, with different character, setting, crime of guilt, but the plot is always the same. I believe this play could have been a true story. Blackmail and political corruption is something that has been a part of history and will always be in this world. Everyone has dirty laundry and things that they do not want to get out. One can relate the actions in the play to male and female interactions of today men and women today will hide things that they do not want their partners to know, such as, sexuality, lifestyles, affairs and so on. As of now I do not have any personal experiences that I can relate to this play.
 * Amelia Hill **

I think that Oscar Wilde in his play "An Ideal Husband" was a well organized play, where he just gather an spectacular set and the right fit of authors. The way that he arranged the order of the play makes you more into it. His perspective of an ideal husband in the play just goes beyond reality. The wife could have felt like she did had an ideal husband, but in real life there is alwayssomething missing in the picture. That is what separates this play from an actual true story. Wealth and a good position in life and society is not what makes a husband perfect, and that is just where the problem was. There is many more needs that could be satisfied to become just that "An Ideal Husband".
 * Judith Ayala**

I believe Oscar Wilde named this play, "An Ideal Husband", because it summed up what the plot was about. The rendition of what a woman would see as an ideal husband and the reality that these preceptions may be too far reaching with humanity. Sir Robert Chiltern was to his wife the perfect gentleman with integrity and grace. She loved her husband and did not doubt that he was a man of honor. When the revelation of how he had gained his fortune was revealed Lady Chiltern was at first unwilling to forgive. She had held him so high that when he fell from her pedestal it was too much for her to swallow. In the end, she was on to stand by her man as we have seen many women in polictal scandals do for their fallen husbands. Just this week we seen a woman stand by her husband as he resigned as govenor for being involved in a prostituion ring. The fall of this man was instigated by Mrs. Cheveley, a miserable jealous woman with nothing but destuction on her mind. You have several women together at a party that have just met Mrs. Cheveley and share their dislike of her. They seem to be a little jealous of a woman that the men find somewhat attractive. This rings true of women's repetation today also. I have seen this first hand in the work place when a new woman was hired and the men seemed to take to her. The women would sit around and talk about her and say things negative about her without really even knowing her. Now, granted the ladies in this play were not wrong about Mrs. Cheveley she was a evil woman with bad intentions but it did remind me of some experiences I have witnessed among some women in times past. I think this play serves as a good reminder that we are to show the same mercy to others that we ourselves will some day need. NO ONE is above falling from grace and we could benefit from showing a little more love and a little less judgement. Our society is not without scandal and there is plenty of jealously driven hate all around us. People looking for ways to hurt others. Although we should seek the best in people we should also realize that we are human and we need to remember that when we begin to build those pedestals for the ones we love. And should they fall and need us to help them through then be men and women of integrity and stand by them.
 * Natalie McGinnis**

The definition of the word ideal is “a conception of something in its perfection”. An ideal husband doesn’t exist because no one is perfect. In the eyes of Lady Chiltern she thought she had an “ideal husband” but later came to the knowledge of his shortcomings. I feel that the title “An Ideal Husband” was an appropriate one for the play. Lady Chiltern had put her husband on a pedestal just as everyone else in the community had done. He was a man of integrity and uprightness and as far as everyone knew, had no faults or past mistakes. By an attempt of blackmail by Miss Cheveley, a mistake in his past was on the brink of becoming common knowledge to all. This play just reinforces the fact that each of us has done things that have made us ashamed and regretful. I personally had a similar experience in my life. Because of a position that a certain person held I expected more out of this person, but later after coming to the knowledge of certain actions by this person I was disappointed. We must realize that we all are just human beings no matter what we do in life and we are not infallible. In the end, all that matters is love, as Lady Chiltern told her husband, “it is love, Robert, love, and only love”. Love covers all faults and sins.
 * Cindy Lowe**

I think the play was entitled “An Ideal Husband” because Sir Robert Chiltern was known in the community as a man of integrity. He was personable, wealthy and a political figure. His wife Lady Chiltern held him to the highest. She always spoke up for her husband and backed his integrity. She thought Sir Robert Chiltern was flawless. Miss Cheveley is your typical jealous rival that is set out to break up happy homes. This play shows that no one is exempt from falling from grace. It simply shows that no one is flawless. Everyone has a past and we should not consider anyone as being perfect. Miss Cheveley tried to make Sir Robert Chiltern sell what little integrity he had left, but he redeemed himself by speaking the truth. “An Ideal Husband” also shows that women tend to think men that are in high powered positions are more than they are. Some women actually worship these men, but in reality they have as many flaws as the common man. Lady Chiltern’s standards were too high. She expected her husband to be perfect until the truth of the scheme came out. Reality hit when she had to lie about the letter she wrote to Lord Goring. She realized she was not perfect either. The play also shows that no one should be judged entirely by their past either. Sir Lord Goring redeemed himself when he spoke the truth in the house of commons. There has been several public figures that have had to admit to imperfections such as Governor Eliot Spitzer and his affair with the escort service, the Enron scandal in 2001 regarding irregular accounting procedures by top executives. These are just a few of those holding high positions who have flaws in their integrity. The title “An Ideal Husband” is only an idea of the man every woman wants. But as Miss Mabel Chiltern said as she was walking down the aisle to marry Lord Goring, “An ideal husband! Oh, I don’t think I should like that. It sounds like something in the next world.”
 * Michelle Osborne**

Oscar Widle naming his play "An Ideal Husband" was a perfect choice. Lady Chiltern felt that her marriage was based on having an "ideal husband"; he was faultless hi her eyes. Sir Robert Chiltern was a man who stood apart from everyone else; Lady Chiltern tells him that "To the world, as to myself, you have been an ideal always (Wilde). Showing the readers that Lady Chiltern thought the world revolved around her husband Sir Robert and she thought the world of him. Lady Chiltern really lived her life around her husband. It was only when she was confronted with Sir Roberts past that she realized her husband maybe wasn't all that perfect. "We women wordhip when we love; and when we lose our worship, we lose everything" (Wilde). I think that the actions in the play do relate to actions in today's society. There has been many scandals that have happened over the years in the political world with mayors or presidents having an affair, but have a wife that stands by their side. No one can really know why these women decide to stick by thier man but them women themselves, but I think it takes a very strong women. I personally have not had any experieces that can relate to the play, I see in society today the way men treat women and they way women treat each other in different situations, and I feel that I can learn a lot from what I see. I also think that women are always looking for "Mr Right" ,and that men are still going to have "secrets". There will always be a Lady Chilten, a Mrs. Cheveley and a Sir Robert Chiltern in the world, and there will also always be the women that forgive their husbands for scams or betrayal. I look at the play and life as until you experience it you will never know or learn what it is like.
 * Loran Bowers**

I believe the plays title fits the acts perfectly. Lady Chiltern looked at Sir Robert Chiltern as her "Ideal Husband". She seemed to have a perfect life with a wonderful husband in the public eye and back at home. Her husband seemed to be everything to her. Any woman is going to be defensive though if her husband is agreeing or taking another woman’s advice. That is a sign of jealousy waiting to happen. I think this whole play seemed like something very realistic. In today’s world I truly believe this goes on. Women and men are very competitive and seem to intrude on other peoples relationships. I would relate this play to something like what President Clinton did or Prince William. Clinton and William both lost their trust in their mistresses. These were political men, in the public eye, and dealing with situations of the world. Something happened behind closed doors, that was then open to the public.  Although these men had affairs and the play relates to decisions dealing with the opinion of another women. This example can still relate to the play, by showing how a man can be impressed by another womens wits or ways of life. The wrong person can be trusted, and then let everything slip in front of the people. Mrs Cheveley was a prime example of this. She was very sneaky and seemed to want to mess up other peoples lives around her. This story could be compared to catty girls in high school. Although I believe some women never grow out of that and continue these ways in their adulthood as well.
 * Kristen Evans** Response

In my opinion the plays name refers directly to what the play is about as in how the women looked as these men and talked about what an ideal husband is. For example Lady Chiltern and Sir Robert Chiltern have an amazing marriage out in public and at home it seems that they are perfect for each other and were meant to be. Lady Chiltern sees her husband as ideal and after reading the play that is how I see it as well. Even though she was defensive on how her husband listened to what another woman was saying and she was jealous. I think that this play is somewhat like something you would see on one of todays television sitcoms and in everyday life even today in the way that some people are competitive in trying to get somebody to appreciate them over someone else even if the person is already married to the other. This play can also relate to marriage scandals that happen in our political world as well, there have been quite a few in the past ten years in our government one being the Monica Lewensky and president Clinton scandal but you notice no matter what these whose husbands are involved in these scandals have decided to stay with their husbands and still back them 100 percent. No matter what there will always be things like these happening in our government and politics and in the everyday world because no matter what people always look at other peoples spouses or other single people because they are envious and want them even though they may be married thamselves.
 * Marcus Brendle**

I think the title of the play “The Ideal Husband” by Oscar Wilde is the author’s way of pointing out the fact that there is no such a thing as an “ideal” person; much less an ideal husband in English society. As a comic himself, I think of the title more of his way of mocking the idealistic society he lived in. The word ideal had different meanings to each of the characters in the play. By the end of the play, this meaning had changed, especially for the one person who claimed to have the one ideal husband, Lady Chiltern. The view of the female role in that early society was one of just looks. The female was to be supportive and encouraging, but not to question or give opinions without being asked. Lady Chiltern accepted a surprising statement at the end of the play “A man’s life is of more value than a woman’s. It has larger issues, wider scope, grater ambitions…” She appeared to be strong and supportive of her husband; but to agree to such a statement, set the two realities apart. There is little chance that such statement will be accepted or even brought up in today’s society. If anything, females have grown to have just as much if not greater ambitions than men. I see today’s society more a reflection of the relationship of Lord Goring and Mabel Chiltern; they treated each other in a way that could be compared to today’s male/female interaction. Both are very direct in their intentions and mind little about society’s rules and limitations. I think today’s political world and society’s dynamics differ very little from what was presented to us in this play. There might be a more advanced way to come up with the necessary tools to harm a public figure, but blackmailing continues to take place and the past constantly hunts those who seek power or are already in power. To think that you can just forget the past and hope that it would not come back to hunt you, is a naïve thought, specially if one’s career is on the rise and is seeking to gain more power. We are living this right now; the Democratic presidential race has turned into a race of past actions and misjudgments by the candidates; each side looking for the one great secret to destroy the “ideal” candidate that represents a threat to them.
 * Jaime A. Rodriguez**

The reason the Oscar Wilde play, “The Ideal Husband” has this title is because it’s about a man who on the outside to others looking in appears to be the perfect man. He has all the attributes a woman is looking for in a man. Sir Robert Chiltern is a handsome, successful, wealthy, respected political figure, who has scruples beyond belief making him seemingly wonderful. Unfortunately his great wealth and fame came at an unscrupulous price that an eager blackmailer, Mrs. Cheveley can’t wait to use against him. His wife, Lady Chiltern thinks he is the most honest admirable man in the universe and is very rigid in her feelings about dishonesty. Mrs. Chiltern could not stand something or someone without moral fiber which is why she recognizes Mrs. Cheveley, the blackmailer from school. We all remember those ignorant trouble makers in school that fit the character of Mrs. Cheveley. She is a vagrant opportunist that will stop at nothing to get what she wants which happen to be greed, power and wealth. The men and women in this play interact with each other very light and airy but then talk about each other behind their backs. The moral in the story is being true and honest with your spouse about your past otherwise it might come back and hit you right between the eyes. Lady Chiltern thinks her husband is so perfect she doesn’t allow him any room for human error or faults that we all have. She doesn’t understand that nobody’s perfect and she needs to learn forgiveness. Sir Robert Chiltern needs to come down off his high horse and be honest with himself and trust his wife instead of fear her. There are so many controlling types of people and there is always someone that is jealous of what someone else has. This play has a little bit of every kind of personality in it but mostly devastating is the lack of trust between the characters that are supposed to be in love. The ideal husband is not so perfect after all and we can all learn how a little secret can blow up in our faces and ruin our perfect paradise if we are not trusting of our loved ones to forgive.
 * Terry Sheehan**

**Casey Winders** In the play entitled “An Ideal Husband” by Oscar Wilde shows us how sometimes when we think that everything is fine, is because the whole situation is not fully surfaced. This is how everything seems most of the time in day to day life. The woman Lady Chiltern had a very ideal husband as though she thought. Sir Robert is Under-Secretary for Foreign Affairs in the government, and it seemed as if she worshiped her husband. Lady Chiltern realized in the play that nobody no matter how powerful they are will still make mistakes. Everyone is human no matter how much power they have. Even she realized when she lied in the letter that she wasn’t perfect. It seems that women are all the time thinking that they have to do crazy things to get the right person. The major event that happened with our government is the scandal in the White House. Hilary Clinton stood by her husbands side and gave him a second chance. The saying is behind every good man is a strong and great woman.

I think that the play “An Ideal Husband” could have not been given a better title. When I was reading the title for the first time, the first thing that came to my mind was that this play was about a husband that everyman wants to be and what every woman wants in a husband. This is exactly what the play is about. Robert Chiltern was the ideal husband in this play. Robert was not only a man of wisdom he was also considered as a genius. He was a rich politician and everyone liked him. I also believed that he had the ideal wife also. Lady Chiltren is Robert’s wife. She also felt that she was an ideal wife to him. She is a very proud woman toward her husband and supports him in any of his doings. An example from the play says, “Lady Chiltren-Robert is as incapable of doing foolish things as he is doing a wrong thing” ([|http://intro-to-literature.wikispaces.com/space/showimage/An+Ideal+Husband.doc).] This excerpt from the play clearly shows the reader how highly Lady Chiltren regarded her husband. I also feel that this statement shows how she feels he is perfect. In my opinion, this play shows that behind every perfect man there is always a flaw that must follow. In Robert’s case it was his past that haunted him. A woman by the name of Mrs. Cheverly was Robert’s key to humility and failure. Mrs. Cheverly had a letter that Robert wrote to Baro Arnheim which told him, “telling the Baron to buy the Suez Canal shares-a letter written 3 days before the government announced its own purchase” ([|http://intro-to-literature.wikispaces.com/space/showimage/An+Ideal+Husband.doc).] This letter would ruin Robert’s career and his life. So this statement basically supports my own opinion on what this play shows. I believe that this play also shows how a lot of people like to give society the impression that they are perfect even when they are not. I also think that this play shows that people not only look at someone in the present to judge them, but they also look at a person’s past.  In today’s society there have been many scandals and affairs with people in high power. A perfect example is Jesse Jackson. He was viewed as a great role model for young black men to follow. H had a great career and many people viewed him as an ideal husband to his wife. His flaw as exposed when his affair was shown to the public eye. Many people denounced him and lost respect, while few stood by his side. Scandals and affair are not just found in the rich and famous but also in an average Joe.
 * Russell Scott **

I believe that Oscar Wilde could not have made a better choice in calling his play “An Ideal Husband”. What does a woman need to see for an ideal husband? I think that in women and in men an ideal partner is impossible to find. When love is involved I believe that a blind eye is turned away from any flaws that someone may have. This play shows us that in reality just how difficult the ideal mate is to find. Lady Chiltern had herself an ideal husband in her eyes in Sir Robert Chiltern he was a gentleman who possessed charm and integrity. Once the truth of how Sir Robert Chiltern’s fortune was gained his love Lady Chiltern had almost waived from her husband. I do not believe that she thought he was capable of such a thing and was so very disappointed, but her love for this ideal husband came through as she stood by her man in the end. I don’t think one can read this and not think about former President Clinton, his wife Hilary, and Monica Lewinsky. Even though I think about that scenario I do not think that it is the same. The reason I do not think it is the same is that I believe that Lady Chiltern truly thought of her husband as something special, and Hilary thought of Bill Clinton as power and wealth for her on personal gain. I do not believe that it is possible to control the fact of whether or not your partner is an ideal husband or wife. You yourself can only control what you are as said by Mabel Chiltern when she stated “He can be what he chooses. All I want is to be…to be…oh! a real wife to him.” (Wilde) Mabel chose to be an ideal wife and not to try and convince herself that Lord Goring was an ideal husband. As for me I consider my wife and I to be quite a complimentary pair and we try to be the best that we can be for one another in this relationship.
 * Joe Doster**

In my opinioin, Oscar Wilde created the title of the play based on how women were supposed to view their husbands in that era. Many women were not allowed to disrespect or question a man's authority, therefore all men during that period of time could have been viewed as being 'ideal.' Although, from my understanding of the play, Sir Robert was well respected, well liked, and had a very high standing within the community. So, I can see where Lady Chiltern would be able to consider herself married to the 'ideal' man. I think that when Sir Robert was being blackmailed by Mrs. Cheverly, he did not expect the response that he got from his wife. Like all men, I think that Robert was expecting his wife to stand behind him through all of his mistakes. Though, Lady Chiltern is only human. It is quite easy to point a finger at someone's flaws, but it takes a true sign of character to forgive and forget any given situation. Therefore, I feel that in a way Lady Chiltern herself could be considered an 'ideal' wife. I believe that Sir Robert's idealness comes from his act of not giving into Mrs. Cheverly, and chosing to reconcile his marriage. Lady Chiltern admits that she isn't perfect, and is able to look past the flaws of her husband. Therefore, in my opinioin, they present the idea of the 'ideal' couple. Since divorce is so common among couples today, I feel that everyone could take away some advice from this play. We as humans are not perfect, therefore we should not have to live up to being the ideal spouse.
 * Amanda Marshall**

I believe Oscar Wilde titled this play “The Ideal Husband” to be ironic. Lady Chilton believed that Sir Robert Chilton was the ideal husband. He was wealthy, political, and had integrity. In reality, he used deceptive measures to obtain his wealth. His wife held him on a pedestool until she learned of his secret. Miss Cheveley is your typical villain. She’s jealous and always up to no good. She attempts to blackmail Sir Robert by any means necessary to destroy his marriage and political position. As the play unfolds, we learn that nearly all of the characters have secrets and all works out best for the happy couple. This play is realistic in the fact that we all have secrets and things in our past that we are not proud of. It seems very common now to hear about high political figures being caught in scams and their faithful wives staying right beside them.
 * Nicole Britt**

I think Oscar Wilde chose the title “An Ideal Husband” as a sarcastic portrayal of how men and women love each other. Most of the women in the play talked of how their husband’s were ideal; however, in the very next breath, they would have some sort of complaint. For example, the following exchange between Lord Goring, Lady Basildon, and Mrs. Marchmont in Act I shows how the ladies truly view their husbands. “**LORD GORING.** [Smiling.] And those are the views of the two ladies who are known to have the most admirable husbands in London. unendurably so, at times! There is not the smallest element of excitement in knowing him. and we are well punished for it.” The women do not love their husbands; they are in love with the benefits of having a husband admired by high society. Image was everything. Even the Chilterns, considered to be the most moral couple, are quite less than ideal. Sir Robert built his entire career, and subsequently his marriage, on insider trading and Lady Chiltern was quick to walk away from the love of her life due to his tarnished past. I remember reading the following quote about love. “You **like** somebody //because// _. (Fill in the blank.) You **love** somebody //in spite of//. (Fill in the blank.)” Lady Chiltern could not love ‘//in spite of’;// she could only selfishly love if her position was not compromised. It was not until she learned Robert’s reputation had been protected that she was able to truly put the past behind her. The only people in the play that were really in love were Miss Mabel and Lord Goring. They recognized each other’s faults and accepted the bad with the good. They were able to succeed at love because they were not concerned with societal opinion. I think this play can still relate to relationships today. When two people start to date, they always portray themselves in an ideal manner. No one lays all of their bad habits and faults out on the table in the beginning of the relationship. Pasts are also kept secret for a while. Each person is patiently waiting for love to take hold. When this happens, the faults and tarnished pasts are minimized in the eyes of the lover. Without true love the flaws are insurmountable and the relationship ends.
 * Matthew Brooks**
 * MRS. MARCHMONT.** That is exactly what we can't stand. My Reginald is quite hopelessly faultless. He is really
 * LORD GORING.** How terrible! Really, the thing should be more widely known!
 * LADY** **BASILDON****.** Basildon is quite as bad; he is as domestic as if he was a bachelor.
 * MRS. MARCHMONT.** [Pressing LADY BASILDON'S hand.] My poor Olivia! We have married perfect husbands,

I think the play is titled “An Ideal Husband” because when a woman chooses a man they hope it’s the ideal husband. Just like Lady Chiltern, she knew Sir Robert Chiltern would be the perfect man any women would dream to have. He has power, money and is a loving husband. What more could a woman ask for. She thinks the ideal husband is an honest man who is committed to doing great things for people as a politician. Sir Robert Chiltern has been put on a pedestal by Lady Chiltern, his wife, not knowing his secret that occurred in his twenties that has got him where he is today. At the time of the scandal he probably wasn’t thinking of the future having to tell his wife how he was successful. When she found out about his scandal, Gertrude was upset because she felt like her perfect husband had betrayed her. Just like any other women she thought she knew him. I know it’s wrong what he did, but now it seems that like he regrets the position he put himself in. Sir Robert Chiltern was wiling to give everything up he loved to do just to save his marriage. He has been living his life as a lie. Lady Chiltern was able to forgive and forgot his past and move forward. Was it really for live or the money and power? I think in today’s society some women don’t care to find out how their mate has become so successful. I have no personal experiences that I can relate to this play. I have seen situations that could relate to the play; by the politicians we have today. Some are involved in sex scandals and having affairs. It seems to amaze me that the wife’s stay by their husbands sides from beginning to end, even if they are in the wrong. The Clintons are one example: I feel Hilary stayed by his side to protect herself. She knew one day there would be a time where she would have a chance to run for President. Separating would not set a good example for a President, so I feel she was only looking out for herself. Telling the truth can end with good results. Though it took years for him to open up to his wife it all still ended up that she had the ideal husband. It takes courage to come forward about a deep dark secret that can ruin a marriage.
 * Lynn Smith **

I think the play is titled “An Ideal Husband” because Lady Chiltern really felt that’s what she had. Even after everything had happened because she loved Sir Robert Chiltern so much she looked past his so called scandal. I believe Lady Chiltern was able to look past what Sir Robert Chiltern had did in the past because she knows now that’s not who he is anymore. I do however think the title would better apply to this play if it was “An Ideal Wife” because Lady Chiltern really shows she is a good woman by being able to forgive her husband. Even today woman and men might not know everything about their spouses past. There are always people you will think that could never do any wrong but we are all humans.
 * Ashley Cloninger**

The play "An Ideal Husband" sort of reminds me about some of the things that I have seen in my parents. My mom has always supported my dad in just about everything that he has done in his life. This is both good and bad. It's good because when a woman supports her husband, it is because she believes in him and she trusts that everything he does is for the good of her as well as everyone and everything involved. This should never be taken for granted on the man's part. This trust and support should be respected to the utmost. That is why there is a bond between the two in marriage in the first place. Well, this trust and support can also be bad, simply because the man is not always right no matter what his wife wants to believe. For a woman to blindly support her husband no matter what, and for the husband to take advantage of this trust and support is simply wrong, but happens often. I have seen this behavior in my mother and father in the past. I believe that this is what Oscar was trying to convey in this play. Women support their men. Men need this support. However, if there is a wrong in this bond, whether it is the woman or the man, there can potentially be some serious problems. If the man does what he wants, then his wife is going to support him because not only does she feel that that is her job, but she wants to believe that she made the right decision to be with this particular man in the first place. Oscar tried to convey this wrong in this play. Lady Chiltern wanted so badly to believe her husband was a "perfect" man, and would repeatedly talk to others about his perfection and the differences in him that set him apart from other men. Robert, over the years, had truly taken advantage of this "innocence" in his wife and chosen not to be honest with her by telling her the truth about his wealth. In a true relationship, there should never be secrets and there should never be blind support, anywhere. That's why the title is so ironic because not only is there not an ideal husband to think of in this play, but an ideal husband is never one, uniform thought of a man. It is whoever happens to be who the woman wants and she can only know this if she is truly strong in herself.
 * James Vaughn**


 * Lillya Glenn**

In the play “An Ideal Husband,” Oscar Wilde explored one mans youthful choices and the subsequent results that his impetuous decisions have on his political career. I think the play is titled “An Ideal Husband,” because Lady Chiltern sees her husband as flawless. She holds him to a standard that is impossible for anyone to maintain. She doesn’t see life in a realistic way and cannot conceive of him ever doing anything wrong. While on the other hand, Mabel Children despises the idea of the “perfect” husband. She is attracted to Lord Goring because he is unpredictable and always goes against the grain. Everything that his father expects him to do he chooses to do the opposite. This is what makes him so attractive. Mabel Chiltern admires these qualities because she sees herself as the same sort of person. A predictable man bores her to death. I think that women have long abandoned the thought that the man is suppose to take care of them and to provide for them. Modern day women see men for what they are. Women have not been protected and sheltered in a way that they were long ago. Today women play a very different role in society. We are the bread winners, and often find ourselves parenting children alone. Many women are faced with the reality that they don’t have men who they see as upstanding and morally flawless. As a matter of fact, I don’t know anyone who does not have some short coming including myself. Lady Chiltern was not a realist. It angered me to see how she reacted when she found out that her husband had traded secret information for money. Yes, it was not the moral thing to do, but it was done in his youth. Her professed love seemed to be because of his accomplishments and how everyone in the community viewed him rather than her own reasons for loving him. She was somewhat shallow, and very judgmental. It was obvious that Lord Chiltern loved her because it nearly drove him insane dealing with the fact that he might be found out for some foolish decision that he had made twenty years ago. I think that Lady Chiltern should have judged him on the twenty years of living with him and observing his actions and his words of integrity. I can relate this story to myself. I hold myself to this crazy and unrealistic standard. I am my worst critic. Reading this play was an eye opener for me, and I know that I will give myself a break. None of us are perfect and no one is good at everything. If someone messes up, makes the wrong choices, or just simply decides they do not want tot do the right thing (that day) then it is as easy as admitting you have made a mistake and doing the right thing the next time, or at least trying to do the right thing.

The play "An Ideal Husband" captures the irony of the play in my opinion. The irony being that Mrs. Chiltern believed her husband to be the ideal husband and man, when he came to his fortune through deception. This play shows life as it was and as it always will be in my opinion. The situations never change just the characters, setting, and culture. Women will always be to some point cautious and/or jealous of other women and always stand by the men they love despite their original judgement or belief, as Mrs. Chiltern. She originally was disgraced by the knowledge she learned of her husband but in the end she still stood by him and continue to love him, despite his past and faults. Men when they love a woman seem to go to any measure to insure that love, be it lie, cheat or steal, if need be. Men then and now will climb 10 stories to reach the women they truely love, hide secrets they fear will cause them to lose the woman they love, and lie in order to keep them happy. As wrong as it may be it is the way I see it. I see this situation play out among people all around me. Many people marry not truly knowing everything about the other, but believing to have, and then years later coming to learn of it, getting angry and then realizing it was in the past but they live them despite the flaws.
 * Ciera Lowrimore**

Personally I couldn’t think of a better title for this play then “An Ideal Husband”. This play talks and demonstrates why women call men an ideal anything these days. Some men are willing to overlook women’s faults and short comings and to except the women for whom and what they are. Lady Chiltern is a great example of why this play is titled correctly. Lady Chiltern has high moral regards and demands the same from her husband Sir Robert Chiltern. Lady Chiltern is rigid and unbending in her believes of high moral standing and is quick to judge other people for there faults and being human. Even to the point of refusing at first to admit she had sent a letter to a dear and most trusting friend of the family Lord Goring. Taking from my personal experience of dating men that try to change you into who and what you are not. These were not nor shall be ideal boyfriends, husband until they can accept a person the way they are. If everyone looked, into their past I believe we would have all come across someone like Lady Chiltern. Lady Chiltern learns in the end from Mrs. Cheveley who has no morals whatsoever only looking out for herself. That people make mistakes in their lives which has haunted them for years and that people have learned from those same mistakes and not to judge them so harshly. Even though Lady Chiltern states she has “An Ideal Husband” she really doesn’t realizes how much of an ideal man she has. I believe this play has a moral to it and it is to accept people for the way there are and don’t try to change them and take the good with the bad.
 * Sue Lampton Response**

The play is titled, “An Ideal Husband” because that is what Lady Chiltern thought that she had in Sir Robert Chiltern, when in fact, she had put him on a pedestal and in a position to “fall from grace.” However, when listening to the dialog between almost all of the characters, especially the women, the ideal husband is what all of the women were seeking, except Mabel Chiltern. She knew better than to try to look for an ideal husband. I feel that the interaction between male and females today are very much as they are portrayed in this play. The men still do not listen to women, maybe because we talk too much. And in Act I, Lady Basildon says that men do not appreciate their women, which I think is very much true today. Also when Lord Goring was talking with Lady Chiltern about Sir Robert Chiltern’s ambition and his passion for power, I felt that this rung true in my life experiences. I am currently going through a divorce and found that most men desire power and success in their profession or business. It is almost as if this defines them. Sir Robert Chiltern needed to feel successful in his political career and that is what Lord Goring was trying to get across to Lady Chiltern. He says to her, “Failure to Robert would be the very mire of shame. Power is his passion. He would lose everything, even his power to feel love.” However it takes a lot of energy to continue to pump up a man’s ego and is not very healthy for either spouse if this becomes the center of the relationship.
 * Marcia Hardin – Husband Response**

I think Oscar Wilde titled this play "An Ideal Husband" because he wanted to introduce a play on words for the word "idol". Webster defines an idol as, "A representation or symbol of an object of worship". (merriamwebster.com). In this play the men are particular objects of worship. Lady Chiltern is utterly devastated when she finds out her "God" and husband has fallen from grace. In Act II when Sir Robert tried to come clean about the indiscretion he committed eighteen years earlier which earned him his fortune Mrs. Chiltern cries out loud, "Don't come near me. Don't touch me. I feel as if you had soiled me for ever. Oh! what a mask you have been wearing all of these years! In the same scene Sir Robert is taken aback by his wife's expectations of him. He asked her why women place men on pedestals, and why women can't just love men as they are. He obviously knew that she was worshipping him all along and cements his knowledge of her behviour by confessing to her that she has made a false idol of him. As I was reading this play I thought about the recent scandal involving former New York mayor Eliot Spitzer. Not that Sir Chiltern's scandal involved any of the same elements as the unfortunate former mayors, but the fact that scandals are nothing new was interesting. When the men accused of being involved in the scandal approach a podum to make beg for forgiveness from thier public, some where off to the left or right is a pale face, shell shocked wife. Standing behind her man; for the moment any way. The women in "An Ideal Husband" are portrayed as shallow, ignorant, and conniving. They are seen more as necesary property for a successful man to own than individuals. Lord Goring's father Lord Caversham insist in Act III that he get married because being a bachelor is out of style. He also tells Lord Goring that the love and affection will come when he is married. Some people are married because they believe that it is proper to do so by a certain age. The man still ask the women to marry as if he's doing her some great favor and society still looks poorly upon people who are unmarried by the time they are forty. I have not had any experiences similar to those presented in "An Ideal Husband". I do remember as a child have a cousin whose parents were perfect in my eyes. The seemed as if they adored each other, they had pet names for themselves, and staying the night at their house was like being hired as an extra on a sitcom. They were hilarious. My cousin was to me a normal child a bit big for her age but normal none the less. They had a plump baby and a playful dog. Two cars and a fenced yard where we played rounded out their American dream. Years later the couple divorced and I found out the horrible truth. My cousin's father was emotionally and verbal abusive, not to mention unfaithful. My cousin's mom would often cry her self to sleep and she was terrible afraid of her husband. My cousin told me after the divorce she was a well behaved child not out politeness, but fear of her overbearing father. "The jokes were a way of covering everything up", she once confessed to me. I was a teenager when I found out the "truth" about my favorite aunt and uncle and every since then I have tried very hard not to judge a book by its cover no matter how glossy and shiny it appears.
 * Chablis Pettus-Response**

The plays is entitled An Ideal Husband because every single women hopes that one day she will be marry to the perfect man and live happily ever after. Women need to wake up from this fantasy and realize no one is perfect and everyone had flaws and problems. Lade Chiltern thought she had the perfect life. She had a good looking husband that had a successful career she thought everything was perfect but it sure was not like that. Every single female want an ideal man to marry but it is not like that. She was a very jealous person she kept a very watchful eye on him. She thinks he can do no wrong but she does not know anything about her husband past. Her husband had done some shady things in his past that he is not proud of. He is being blackmailed by this women he had done shady things for in his past. He fixes his messes and him and his wife finally fix things between them. In today’s society men and women interact about the same even though we should be way past that. Every women thinks they have the perfect person. Those couples think they are Barbie and Ken and live in a fantasy world. Women had the same thoughts back then as women have now. This play does not relate to me personally but it sort of does. I would love to be Barbie and find my Ken but I am not Barbie and unfortunately Ken does not exists. Who would not want the perfect man but he is no where to be found. People just need to settle for what is good for them because its hard to find perfection.
 * Yessenia Norena**

I think the play was named “An Ideal Husband” because of how Lady Chiltern felt about her husband. She viewed him as the perfect husband. He was wealthy, honest, and handsome. That is something all women look for in a husband, among other things. So the title fit the story wonderfully. It is interesting how Lady Chiltern valued her love for her husband based on his reputation. She felt she loved him less after finding out what he did 15 years ago. This story could still apply to how women and men feel today. All little girls dream of the man they will marry. That tall prince riding his white stallion. And when they become an adult and marry that man who love, it is hard to find a fault in him. In my own marriage, it has been difficult to understand that my husband has a past before I ever become part of his life. I have to understand that he has done wrong and that he is human. No one is perfect, except Jesus Christ. And compared to him, who can really measure up? However, trying to understand that is hard. Wives want to believe that her husbands are perfect. That evil deeds, thoughts, or words have never crossed his path, but it doesn’t work that way. For Lady Chiltern, it broke her heart to know that her “perfect” husband had done something wrong. It was difficult for her to realize that he wasn’t “perfect”. I think men are the same way as women when it comes to holding their spouse or loved one on a pedestal. In my marriage, I know that my husband is amazed at the wrong things I have done in my past. He has said to me many times how he couldn’t see me doing those things. But he accepts me for who I am. That is all it comes down too. Sometimes you have to forgot about their past and just love them for whom you know them to be. One problem that I felt is present in the story and in real life in a relationship is the communication problem between husbands and wives, women and men. We don’t listen to each other and when we do listen we hear what we want to hear. That is a major problem in relationship and we wonder why divorce rate is so high. If Sir Robert Chiltern would have just talked to his wife and told her what had happen and Lady Chiltern had listen, they wouldn’t have any problems. My husband believes that is the problem with women, we don’t listen to what men say and we get mad when they don’t tell us things. I disagree. I think the problem is men don’t say the right things.
 * Cashebia Dupree** - Response to Ideal Husband

I think that the reason the play is named an Ideal Husband is because that is what the whole plot really revolves around. Sir Robert Chiltern is a man who made a very bad thing to speed up his success and when he is later established in life that choice comes to haunt him. He is not only about to be publicly be disgraced but most importantly he will lose the love of his life. She is the most important thing to him. She is the only one he has to love him. Lady Chiltern not only loves him but adores him and everything that he does. She puts him on a pedal stool and so does everyone else even the women in town comment on how lucky she is to have such an ideal husband. The only thing that he husband is concerned about losing is that title of the Ideal Husband, and losing that worshipping respect that she gives him. I think that the interactions in the play are very similar to today’s society. For instance, look at all of the scandals going on in the politics currently. You have governors who are caught up in huge sex scandals while their wives stand besides supporting them as they apologize to the people and spit on their vows and they just smile. I think one thing that does not really relate to today is the role of women. Women are more independent and educated today then they are in the play. But I think the situations of wives supporting their husbands during hard times such as blackmail and discreditable histories especially in politics is defiantly relatable to the play. I really don’t have any real experiences that really relate to the play except what I watch on CNN as the politicians personal lives destroy their political ones. That is what I see a lot of but not so much in my personal life. I do feel like the realtionships in the play between the men and women are a little outdated in comparsion to the relationships of them now. Like most men do not ask for hands in marriage as often and women are expected to pursue higher education and not wait for a good husband to come along in order to have a good life.
 * Amanda Stowe**

I think the play is titled “An Ideal Husband” because there are several reference made about how a man or woman should act in society and in marriage. The focus is more on the males in this play. It could have just as easily been titled “An Ideal Wife”. Surprisingly the men act accordingly to how women would want a man to act in such conditions. There were plenty of opportunities for the male characters to go astray but they made the right decisions in the end, making them “ideal husbands”. Sir Robert and Lord Goring both were total different men but they suited the needs of their partners making them their “ideal husbands”. In present day, this play, I think would have ended differently. We see in the media, especially now, politicians covering up their past. Whether it is a financial fraud or sexual endeavors, they always get caught by covering their crimes up. Today, I think Sir Robert would have done anything to cover his crime up and would have been exposed. A stolen bracelet would not have stopped Mrs. Cheveley today. Your good name does not seem to mean much. She would have had more to gain by exposing him in the long run and would have done so. We do not discredit anyone’s claims anymore. It doesn’t matter if the person trying to expose another is a thief; we still listen to them. In comparison to the play and our modern times, the only things that have changed are the manners and dress. Sir Roberts gained his fortune and position by criminal and immoral acts. This happens today and someone usually rats them out to gain something in return. Most of our present political leaders caught in these circumstances usually apologize for their actions with their wife firmly planted by their side. Hillary Clinton stood by Bill as one example of many. I always question their motives, is it for love or money? Is this why they forgive so easily? I can relate to how the women acted towards one another. Women are very catty and judgmental with one another. I myself have acted towards someone who I thought was a fraud just the way Chiltren did with Cheveley. I can not stand a liar and a thief and if I find myself in the presence of one then I too find myself very cold toward the person. I would not have forgiven Sir Roberts and I am surprised that Lady Chiltren did as well. She hated Cheveley for being a liar and a thief. Sir Roberts wasn’t any better. It did not matter to me that it happened when he was a boy. A leopard doesn’t change his spots. I would not be able to trust him again or would always question his motives. Their marriage was based on a lie. It sounds as if I didn’t enjoy the play but I did. It was a great story of triumph, forgiveness, and sacrifice.
 * Stacey Pilkington**

I think the play is titiled "An Ideal Husband" because that is what all the women in the play are all in search of. This is also very true in today's society. Men and women alike are always searching for what they consider to be the "ideal" mate, which is hard to do. All people have flaws whether they are big or small. No one in this world is perfect. In the play Lady Chiltern is the only one who seems to actually have the "ideal husband". Sir Robert Chiltern is rich and holds a high position in the England political arena. He has power and he enjoys it. Lady Chiltern has lived a life free of scandal and sin. She thnks her husband had lived the same kind of life, so she puts him on a pedestal. When she is confronted with his past via a blackmail scheme, she is forced to make a decision about whether to forgive him or not. I think the play is trying to make people realize that we must be willing to accept a person for who they really are and forgive them for things they do or have done in their past. Sometimes people do things in their past that they are ashamed of. They would never repeat those actions again because they realize how wrong it had been or out of character for them. Just like in the play, often times we do put people on a pedestal because we feel like they deserve it. For some of these people trying to live up to the expectations of someone else is difficult because they know their own flaws. I have also seen people (especially women) that I know give up what they really want as a way to make or keep someone they feel is special in their life happy. I was glad to read in this play that the man was the one who thought he would have to give up his dreams to keep his wife. The only experience in my life that can even come close to relating to this play is concerning my great uncle. As long as I can remember he was one of my favorite relatives. He was always so nice and kind to me. I loved him very much. I didn't know until I was about seventeen that he was an alcoholic and had been for many many years. I only found out a couple of weeks before he died due to complicaitons associated with his alcoholism. It took me a long time to get past what I had learned about his life, but eventually I was able to move on. I just kept remembering the man I knew not the man he was in secret. The same was true for Lady Children because she didn't even know her husband at the time he committed that terrible act. She had to remember the man she knew and loved so she could get past her feeling about what he had done. I know my uncle was embarrassed about what he was doing just like Sir Robert Chiltern was embarrassed about what he had done in his past. Sir Robert Children tried to pay for his mistake by giving back to society through public office and financially. My uncle I think was trying to make up for his lifestyle by showing kindness and love to all his nieces and nephews.
 * Wendi Summerlin - Response to "An Ideal Husband"**

The women in the play had very different views on what makes “An Ideal Husband”, thus Oscar Wilde’s title. Of the three main characters I think Lady Chiltern had the most unrealistic views. She imagines her husband to be flawless, a pillar of virtue, and a perfect role model. All is well in the end, but at certain times through out the play the audience might see how flawed and imperfect their relationship really is. If Lady Chiltern had these expectations in today’s society, I think she would be considered a fool if thought she would find a perfect man. Mrs. Chevely seems to be a bit more like women today. She’s conniving and money hungry. She’s willing to do whatever it takes to get what she wants. Men are tools for her and her ideal husband would be someone she could control. Apparently if Lord Goring had agreed to marry her he would have been the third husband, much like the gold diggers we have today, bouncing from husband to husband making loads of alimony. Then there’s Miss Mabel Chiltern who just wants somebody to love and to love her back. She wants a man that is unconcerned with appearances and what people think, a man that isn’t always after money and power. She could have her pick of men and she chose one that London society found less than ideal as far as husbands go. I think I would connect best with Miss Mabel. I sure haven’t met a flawless man and I don’t think I would want to. How bad would that make me look? Money is great, but it’s not keeping me warm at night and cooking up scams seems like to much work. Anyway, the whole play could definitely be translated into today’s male/female interactions in the way it’s all about the games men and women play, and the secrets they hide from each other to make themselves seem more ideal.
 * Melanie Hefner**

The title, “An Ideal Husband” is almost humorous. I think Wilde is writing about the irony of that phrase. The play touches on serious issues in relationships but it also has a lighter side. For example, Lady Chiltern expects her husband to be a model spouse in both private and public life. She expects him to be perfect, or at least what she view’s as perfect. When she found out about his earlier imperfections, that was almost it for her. After Lord Goring talked to her she realized Sir Robert was a pretty good fellow. Mrs. Marchmont, Lady Basildon’s and Mabel had a totally different idea of “an ideal husband.” Especially Mabel, she knew Lord Goring wasn’t perfect but she loved him the way he was. The plot of the play goes to show that everyone has a different idea of an ideal husband and that there is no such thing as a perfect person and if there were that person would probably be really boring. The male/female interactions in relation to how they are today are quite similar. We still have the dandies and dowdies and wives still expect their husbands to be ideal. I think you would have to be living in a bubble or just extremely lucky not to have had a personal experience that can be related to this play. I have come across many Mrs. Cheveleys in my days. Some women just have a conniving way about them. In my experiences the Mrs. Cheveleys of the world usually get what’s coming to them.
 * Meghann Bettinger**

**Robin Hilton** I think the play is titled "An Ideal Husband" because that is what Sir Robert Chiltern seems to be, an ideal husband as well as an ideal man. He is held with high reguards within the community and with his wife. Lady Chiltern even tells him that she thinks he is ideal(Wilde). I think the male/female interactions are similar to those in this day. The controversy with Lady Chevely and Sir Robert Chiltern is similar to the struggles that women have today with trying to get on top as men are. It just shows that some people will go farther than others to gain a position. As far as personal experiences, I have known a few people who turned out to be different than what they appeared. For example, at a church near my house there was a preacher who was caught having sex with one of the young members of the congregation. This just shows that noone in perfect, no matter what they do or how they seem. Everyone has skeletons in their closets.